i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
