she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
