Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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