STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
