I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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