i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
