I need help removing her.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
