I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
