I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
