The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who died my cat blue again?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
