There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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