apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
