i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize