maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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