Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
