I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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