Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
