batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
