Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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