I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
