Sponge bath it is.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
