i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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