Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize