Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
