her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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