HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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