I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
