I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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