This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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