Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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