fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
