and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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