ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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