Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
