Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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