Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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