wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
