My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
