It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
