I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
