Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
