so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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