I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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