he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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