did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
