____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
P.S. I can't hear my feet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
