This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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