I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
