I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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