Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
