I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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