eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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