well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
