I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
