dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
