Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
