I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
