Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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